Your Awful Creative Impulse by Chloe Jordan
Dear Chloe,
Thank you for sending us 'Your Awful Creative Impulse.” We appreciate that while you would have rather numbed yourself watching Malcolm in the Middle on repeat, you put forth some misguided effort in channeling your angst into a written piece.
Tragically, ‘Your Awful Creative Impulse’ is not suitable for our publication. We would like to note that the volume of submissions we receive is so large and the general quality so impeccable that we are often forced to make difficult decisions as we choose which to publish. However, your execrable submission was an easy rejection for us. Keep in mind that although we have decided to add your piece to our compost pile, we are grateful for the possibility that you may never unleash your further “creative” monstrosities on the world.
Due to the sheer inanity of your piece, it is undeserving of editorial feedback beyond our heartfelt request that you cease and desist from future creative endeavors. We wish you the best in fixing your myriad issues.
Sincerely,
The Literary and Artistic Community at Large
Chloe Jordan (they/them) is a clinically uncomfortable person from the most comfortable place on the planet. They write with the hope to distract you from the fact that the slow march of time is coming for us all. You can find their online presence on Twitter @chloeeejordan