You could have a big dipper   

Toilet Bowls by Michelle Davey


content warning: eating disorders




She passed her youth

helium breasted

coated in a slick

of ultra violet gloss.

Blonde with a vomit ombre.

Jubilant

with fingers laced and bound

in ribbons and knots of

stomach lining.

Discovering the world

through a checklist of toilet bowls.

Cultivating her mind,

painting porcelain

carrot - orange

blood - red

Noting oily glimmers

in shimmering saliva pools.

She loved through a veil

of a minty camouflage.

Teeth clashing kisses backed with

crumbling molars.

And then her

womb crowded,

pressing up against

the concaved shreds

of broken stomach.

Roly poly babies,

filling her heart

with their doughy leg folds

and full faced adoration

for a woman she now

despised.

She pours lavender under

thundering taps

before excavating acid hot hate

over aged, calloused knuckles.

Silences the roar of

taps and thoughts.

Unlocks the door.

Gathers her children for bathtime.



Michelle Davey (she/her) is a radio presenter and writer from London. She blogs as The Cockney in the Countryside and is a mother of 3 and autism advocate. Instagram: @thecockneybloggirl

Twitter: @cockneybloggirl

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