I am consumed by the possibility
of Jess drowning in Lake Michigan.
There is no telling what could happen
because I am afraid of getting into
the water—it makes me nauseous.
She claims she is fine, & after a moment,
I yell, “You don’t want me to be worried
about you?” but she is too caught up
in waves to answer. The flies on the beach
won’t stop pestering me. I am rolling around
in sand, dirty and longing for someone
who doesn’t want me. Jess tells me
to reason with them, as if persuasion
could lead me to be left alone, happily.
What if I want to be tormented? Teased
& unraveled until I spill out answers
the mind secretly knows. Everything
feels saturated. I say there is no God,
but the sky looks like Heaven at sunset,
brimming with purpose—
Eva Swiecki is a Chicago writer. She is a co-creator of the writing critique group Study Hall Workshops and has been published in Hooligan Magazine, Wild Roof Journal, and Lammergeier. You can find her on Twitter and her blog.