The music balloons; the chords, neon,
ebb soaked—
I‘m so high again I think
I’m in trouble
Or someone in a government position
of authority is eager to lock me up
Or someone who doesn’t even notice me
but I respect, is sharing their disapproval
of my inclusion on their phone
That fucking guy
Like ferrofluid carnage all over your screen
A novel idea: I want to write a novel that
sounds as good as every Talking Book
Darcie Wilder or Brad Phillips shit
For the first time in my life I emailed a request
to speak with a supervisor and the request
was ignored, how do all of the awful customers
of the world get what they want?
ah, I’m told I should be more demanding
Who do I have to debase?
What do I have to freebase?
That line is corny and implies a lot of untrue
things about me
Like when they used to call me CREEPY
& not because I quoth the fucking raven
Because one time I got really, really high
as high, if not more than I am now,
& I was watching this movie with a girl
on the floor of my friend’s bedroom
Teenagers holding hands
But I kept feeling like I pissed or shit myself
There was no awareness of control therefore I believed I’d lost it so I kept going to the bathroom and checking my underwear and sitting on the toilet waiting for a phantom hemorrhage of stink to pour out of me that would never come and I did this probably 4 or 5 times and each time I was gone for ten minutes or so and I kept doing this and freaking out that I was probably being weird but it’s better to be weird than have to go home with shit in my pants so I kept doing this
I started to sweat profusely from all the back and forth exercise I was getting and my hands were all clammy every time I’d return to hold her hand and it got real quiet and my friend took her home and I was too high in the car to be as funny and charming as I was earlier in the night before it took a psychological turn
After that she referred to me as CREEPY when clarifying
which name-twin she was referring to
A friend told me about it and their laughter and I really
took it to heart, I’d just seen the movie Heathers
I wasn’t about to let her control
the narrative like that so I decided to own it
I changed my name to CREEPY on everything
Introduced myself as CREEPY
Which probably explains a lot
maybe too much
Barracuda Guarisco / C. C. Hannett / Kris Hall is a cheesesteak obsessed, bisexual crybaby who enjoys absurdity at varying levels. Barry is the author of several books in the Spuyten Duyvil Publishing universe, as well as Uncomfortable Music (Vegetarian Alcoholic Press, 2021). Nominated for Best Microfiction, he is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Really Serious Literature. He has had work placed with Maudlin House, giallo lit, Silent Auctions, Expat, Rejection Letters, Meow Meow Pow Pow and various others found under Entropy Mag's 'Where to Submit' list. He lives with his wife, Pilar, in Seattle, WA. Twitter: @barracudacore