My Niece Borrows My Laptop to Write a Report* by Kelle Schillaci Clarke
Why are sloths so lazy? How many hours a day does a sloth sleep? How do sloths communicate with one another? How do sloths have babies? Why are sloths so sexually active? Can people die having sex? Do sloths really die when they poop? Has anyone ever died from a sloth? Has anyone ever died from sneezing? Are sloths dangerous? What does a bullet look like? What does it feel like to get shot? Is it safe to touch a sloth? What is skin made of? Do sloths make good pets? Can a bullet cut through water? Can a bullet cut through diamonds? Can a bullet cut through knight’s armor? Do sloths have predators? What are sloths afraid of? What is it called if you’re afraid of sloths? What is it called if you’re afraid of the dark? What is it called if you’re afraid of everything? What happens when you die? Do you poop when you die? Does dying hurt? Where do wolves live? Are sloths endangered?
[*And leaves a trail of breadcrumbs in my google search history]
Kelle Schillaci Clarke is a Seattle-based writer with deep L.A. roots. Her work has recently appeared or is forthcoming in Superstition Review, Pidgeonholes, Barren Magazine, Bending Genres, (mac)ro(mic), Flash Frog, Lunate, and other journals. She’s on Twitter @kelle224.