God Quality by Aaron Sandberg

God quality—instead of Good

quality—

the reviewer’s misspelled rating

said.

But doesn’t perform as

expected.

Difficult to follow

instructions.

Not the same item as

pictured.

Losing faith in this

brand.

Can’t even get a

return.

Never responded to my

questions.

One star out of

trillions.

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Aaron Sandberg (he/him/his) thinks “Tainted Love” is an objectively terrible song. His writing has appeared or is forthcoming in West Trade Review, Asimov’s, The Offing, Sporklet, perhappened mag, Lowestoft Chronicle, Abridged, Giallo, Right Hand Pointing, Monday Night, Unstamatic, and elsewhere. A Pushcart-nominated teacher, you might find him—though socially-distant—on Instagram @aarondsandberg.