God quality—instead of Good
quality—
the reviewer’s misspelled rating
said.
But doesn’t perform as
expected.
Difficult to follow
instructions.
Not the same item as
pictured.
Losing faith in this
brand.
Can’t even get a
return.
Never responded to my
questions.
One star out of
trillions.
Aaron Sandberg (he/him/his) thinks “Tainted Love” is an objectively terrible song. His writing has appeared or is forthcoming in West Trade Review, Asimov’s, The Offing, Sporklet, perhappened mag, Lowestoft Chronicle, Abridged, Giallo, Right Hand Pointing, Monday Night, Unstamatic, and elsewhere. A Pushcart-nominated teacher, you might find him—though socially-distant—on Instagram @aarondsandberg.