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Betty Boop Came to Me in Wun Rush by Joe Balaz

Betty Boop came to me in wun rush

and she wuz wearing black biker leather.

She told me to hop onto her motorbike

and we went screaming down da highway

like two hellions.

Eventually we arrived at da beach

and she changed into wun grass skirt

and began dancing foa me

while she wuz also playing wun ukulele

and singing to da big fat moon.

Walking up behind me

she placed da island instrument

on da sand

and den she put her two free hands

ovah my eyes to abruptly say,

“I can do magic. Watch this.”


In wun puff of golden smoke

I found myself in wun packed arena

playing drums foa Led Zeppelin

while John Bonham took wun cigarette break

and Betty sang wun raunchy duet

wit Robert Plant.

Da crowd went wild

and da decibel level wuz so great

da stage wen explode

and Betty and me went flying into da air.

Amazingly we nevah come down

right away

and we flew like birds

to far off New York City

wheah we landed at Radio City Music Hall.

Somehow dey knew we wuz coming

and deah wuz wun special show for us

cause wun long line of women

wearing Betty Boop masks

wuz kicking up dere legs like can-can girls

and cheering at da top of dere lungs.

Betty wen laugh and snap her fingahs

and I found myself stepping into da bright lights

dressed in wun tuxedo and wun top hat

to dance wit da pretty broads like Fred Astaire.

Dey had da stamina of Amazons

cause wen da musical number wen finally end

I wen collapse on wun bed at stage right

and pass out like wun jet lag traveler.

Wen I wen open my eyes in da morning

Betty wuz all ovah da walls

framed in all kine variations

and situations.

I wuz in da bedroom

dat had all da collectibles

of da famous cartoon character.

My sistah-in-law

who wuz wun Betty Boop fan

wen make me breakfast

da day aftah I wen arrive foa my visit.

While she wuz cooking

I wuz just about to tell her

wat I saw wen I wuz sleeping

wen Betty’s translucent self

wen appear on da dining room table

and she wen wag her index fingah at me

and hold it up to da middle of her lips.

I knew I couldn’t say anyting

cause dat wuz Betty’s wishes

so I wen just eat my scrambled eggs

and hash browns

and made small talk

about Charlotte da pet dog

dat wuz unusually barking

and running around

as if it wuz chasing wun unseen ghost

in da living room.


Joe Balaz writes in Hawaiian Islands Pidgin (Hawai’i Creole English) and American English. He is the author of Pidgin Eye, a book of poetry. In July, 2020, he was given the Elliot Cades Award for Literature as an Established Writer. It is the most prestigious literary award given in Hawai’i.

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