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  You could have a big dipper   

Amy Winehouse and I Meet in the Bathroom by Courtney LeBlanc

content warning: eating disorders

It’s nearly silent behind her stall door, no retching,

no gagging, just the quiet bouncing off the black

tiles of the bathroom wall. A pro doesn’t need

a finger down the back of her throat, lacquered black

and glossy, tickling her tonsils, begging the torrent

of food to flow in reverse, filled with bile, black

as a river of shame. No, just the sight of porcelain

can bring the urge to her lips, its promises black

and sweet and so easily swallowed. When she rinses

her mouth at the sink her eyes meet mine, rimmed in black.

She smiles and reapplies her lipstick. Mine is still

perfect. What she purges, I refuse to consume. My belly black

with longing, hungry for the love I will not allow.


Courtney LeBlanc is the author of the full length collections Exquisite Bloody, Beating Heart (Riot in Your Throat) and Beautiful & Full of Monsters (Vegetarian Alcoholic Press). She loves nail polish, tattoos, and a soy latte each morning. Read her publications on her blog: Follow her on twitter: @wordperv.

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