A Trip to One’s Childhood Home Does Not a Habit Break by Stephen Ground

mommy & daddy are upstairs asleep & I’m

down where I shouldn’t be, considering the

implications of introducing relief to the six-

foot deep ditch in my chest. maybe creeping

outside to puff & cough under bald light in

muffled silence, letting neighbours I’ve never

seen peacefully achieve what I’m no longer

capable of finding myself – serenity earned

from lights out before the light of dawn, eyes

closed before finding closure on another day

of twisted tubes, bursting organs, bulging discs

& thighs rigid as pressure-treated fenceposts.

struggling to stand, I slide on shoes to trod

outside with spiders & nightmare centipedes

to pump the ditch with anxious, soothing flame.

total deconstruction [some assembly required].

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Stephen Ground is a prose writer, poet, filmmaker, and picture-taker based in Treaty 1 Territory (Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada). Twitter/Instagram: @sualtmo www.stephenground.com