so now i am googling synonyms for sad
i guess
and google says did you mean
what is a fancy word for sad
and yes i think i do, also how
many searches are needed for
an algorithm to feel confident enough
to propose this phrasing to me
(like mine was lacking, somehow)
(well, f u too)
(i don’t mean that i love you)
(you are a machine and use the word fancy)
so i stare at despairing despondent
disconsolate downcast downhearted aah
the sweet smell of alliterations
anyway, they did a scientific study once, on how
many hugs you need per day
(4 for survival, 8 for maintenance,
12 for growth, in case you’re interested)
so i have to look that up, and google
tries to be helpful again
how many hugs—
do you need a day
should you get a day
does a person need
a day to be happy?
so i delete, delete, delete
then type
what to do if you are scientifically dead
wow, 18,000,000 results
but no did you mean this time
come on, google,
i really thought we had something going here
so now i am googling synonyms for disappointed
i guess
and google says did you mean
what is a weaker word for disappointed?
ehh no
but I think you might
and you know what happens next
Laura Martens (she/her) is based in London, UK, where she writes things and sells books. She loves skyscrapers, busy train stations and cafés with window seats. Her debut novel was published in Germany in 2011